Negative Feelings are Invitations

That crippling sense of dread. That weighty sorrow. That simmering anger. We tend to push away certain feelings. Especially the negative ones. We suppress them. We distract ourselves with entertainment, busyness, indulgence. We try to ignore them. But they are still there. In the background. Or underneath the surface. Or maybe we wallow in them. Maybe we justify ourselves for having them. These feelings are telling us important things about ourselves. But we have many strategies for not listening to what they have to say.

These feelings are invitations. They are inviting us to slow down and reflect. They are inviting us to go deeper and begin to consider. They are inviting us to encounter Christ and his gospel. Will we accept the invitation? Or will we continue to decline?

1.        How Am I Feeling?

What, particularly, am I feeling right now? Or what was it I was feeling at that moment? Was I anxious, worried, on edge, afraid? Was it anger, frustration, irritation, resentment? Am I sad, sorrowful, broken? Confused? Despairing?

How are these feelings expressing themselves? A twisted stomach? Aching or tense shoulders? Dry mouth? Heart beating fast? Cold sweats? Jittery? Irritable?

2.        Why Am I Feeling This?

What are the feelings connected to? Is there something coming up? Has something happened? Are they connected to another person? An event or experience?

Look at your fear. What is it you’re afraid of? Look at your sorrow. What is it you’re sorrowful about? Look at your anger. Who or what are you angry at?

3.        What Are My Feelings Telling Me to Do?

What horizontal fix are these feelings suggesting? Lash out? Run away? Isolate? Prove yourself? Overcompensate? Indulge? Procrastinate?

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Well done. You’ve done some honest work up to this point. That takes humility and courage. But this isn’t the end of the conversation with your feelings, and with your God.

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4.        What Gospel Truths Speak Into This?

Tell God what you’ve realised, seen, understood, discovered in the first three questions. Grab your Bible and ask God to speak into these things in his good kindness to you. Start reading. What should you read? A passage that has been particularly helpful before. A passage that you remember speaks into these things. The next chapter of your daily readings. If you don’t know, try the Psalms. If nothing really lands, reach out to a trusted Christian friend and ask them.

Don’t look for what you should do. Not just yet. Instead look for Gospel truths. The character of God. The promises of God. The presence of God. The wisdom, strength, unchanging nature of God. Look for truths about yourself in the Gospel. Who are you in Christ? What do you have in Christ?

5.        What is the Gospel Calling Me to Do?

What would trusting God look like in this situation? How would I respond or act differently if I believed the truths of the Gospel in this scenario? How would I treat this person or this circumstance differently if I banked on the promises of God being true to me?

Talk to God again. Thank him for what you have seen in his Word. Ask for him to believe it. Ask for strength to do what you know you can and should do in Christ.

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This isn't a one and done. I watered my flower pots yesterday and I'll water them again today. And tomorrow. See your feelings as an invite to meet with God in your emotions. Rather than just "oh God, help me get rid of these negative feelings", we can have a "oh God, meet me in these negative feelings".

And the same is true for our positive feelings too. We can reflect on our excitements, our happinesses, our contentments, our all-is-wells. We can learn to bring these to God too. Thankful and trusting in the good.